This Christmas

This Christmas

I’m sure you’ve heard once or twice

“Christmas just doesn’t feel like it used to”

Maybe its okay that this Christmas was unusually quiet

Or unusually stressful

Or unusually sad.

Maybe it’s okay that this Christmas feels so different from last year

or so the same as every year before

It's okay that new people have come

and old people have gone

or that there are no people with which to spend it at all

It’s okay if this Christmas is a picture perfect planned-to-the-minute Christmas

or a let's just try to make it through with the least amount of tears as possible Christmas

This Christmas

There are parents who wish the mat by the door was a piled up mess of muddy shoes because it would mean that their children were all together again

There are children who would kill to hear their grandfather make another comment about their partner

or their career

or their hairstyle

because it would mean that he was still there

There are women who prayed that they could have a mountain of dishes and garbage to catch up on after a big holiday meal

or men who so badly wanted to work overtime to put that meal on the table

because it would mean that they had a family

So

Before you spend this Christmas wishing everything could be different

maybe you can spend it noticing the things that you didn't see before

moments of gratitude amidst the chaos

the miracles in the mundane

May you realize that whatever your Christmas looks like this year

there are people who wish that their Christmas looked like yours

May you release the desire to make today be the perfect day

and instead allow the day to unfold as it does

accepting the fact that it is merely just how things look

this Christmas.

~ This poem was inspired by the anxiety that annually awaits me this time of year. I don’t know if it’s the remnant childhood memories of my mother being stressed out over arranging the perfect Christmas celebration, or if it’s just my natural superstitious attitudes around any day that carries with it lots of preparatory affairs. Whatever kind of holiday you are finishing off this year with, may this poem remind you to zoom out, keep some perspective, and enjoy whatever Christmas looks like this year.

Buon Natale,

J