Ditch those Rose Coloured Glasses!

Hello my lovely blog readers! Thank you so much for coming to my page!

Since starting therapy, I have become increasingly aware of just how valuable the practice of therapy is, and how much of a change it has made in my life and in my day to day thoughts. However, I also can respect that the prices of therapy are absolutely ridiculous nowadays, and are simply not feasible for the average person. Therefore, I thought I would introduce a blog segment where I discuss in a quick and palatable way, some of the most significant and helpful teachings that I have learned in therapy thus far!

Today I wanted to talk about one that has been coming up a lot for me recently, that I think is so important and that everyone can relate to in some way. This is the concept of COGNITIVE BIAS.

Have you ever been considering upgrading to a new red car, and you find that all of a sudden you are seeing red cars everywhere? Do you struggle with social anxiety and feel like everyone is just 'staring at you all the time'? Or have you ever been having a rough and particularly self critical day, and notice that you seem to “be doing everything wrong”? This is likely a result of cognitive bias, or the minds ability to filter out everything that is not useful to us in this moment, and instead provide a tunnel-vision like focus on the issues that are at the most forefront of your mind. The website Simply Pyschology defines it as “a subconscious error in thinking that leads you to misinterpret information from the world around you, and affects the rationality and accuracy of decisions and judgments.” (simplypsychology.org)

Recently in my recovery from anorexia I find that this is something that has been coming up a lot for me. As I gain weight and begin to develop into a healthier body, I find that I am struggling a lot with body dysmorphia thoughts, and the feeling of being very ‘large’ in my body. Therefore, it is not a coincidence that I seem, all of a sudden, to only be noticing people around me (women specifically) who exist in smaller bodies than mine. Or, insecure about the amount of food I am having to eat, I am suddenly noticing the girls at restaurants who order the lowest calorie option, or who finish the least amount off their plate. Now, for the average person, they probably wouldn’t notice these things. This would just be useless information that their brain does not latch onto as it has no meaning for them. They might instead notice the amount of people carrying expensive bags that they could never afford, or the fact that their food seems to be taking 'forever to come' because they are starving. However, because I am in recovery, and I am highly attuned to my own experience in my body and my own experience with food at the moment, I find that my mind, or rather the unhealthy eating disorder-ed part of my mind, is seeking out evidence to further my insecurities.

I have a friend who is very upset about the fact that they’re not in a relationship, who is feeling quite sad and lonely as a result and who is frustrated at just “seeing happy couples everywhere." When they told me this, I thought, huh, weird, I don’t notice that? That’s because I’m not looking for it. I’m not feeling the same way that they are and so that insecure part of my brain is not seeking validation for those unhealthy thoughts that tell her she will be 'alone forever.'

Your brain does this because it simply cannot process the massive amounts of information that swarm at us day to day. So, wisely, it seeks out the information that it believes to be most relevant to you at the moment. Is every girl around you really perfectly fit and thin, or every guy perfectly cut and muscular, or are you just following people who fit that mould?

An easy, doable task I would recommend is to expand the representation you surround yourself with. For me I like to follow people in different bodies, skin colours, sexualities to prove to my mind that there are billions of other types of people out there. Especially with platforms like TikTok, (which is a perfect example of a skewed perception of the world, the way it tailors your feed to such specific guidelines) this helps to “get outside yourself." You spend all of your time in your mind, and in whatever environment you have created, so it makes sense why you start to believe that that is the whole world.

I really hope that this post helps to make you a little bit more aware of the environment in which you have created for yourself. I hope it reminds you that your thoughts are not fact, much of your thoughts are distortions as a result of your individual experience.

Next time you find you are engaging in this tunnel-vision-like behaviour, try redirecting the thought; if you find you keep messing up on everything, focus on the things you have done well recently - driven to work without getting in an accident, made a meal twice this week, shown up to class on time. If you feel you are the only one who does not have their ideal adult job yet, read stories about people who struggled to find work for years and who went from the bottom up. Begin to get curious about your cognitive biases and collect your thoughts and feelings as evidence, rather than accepting them at face value. Your current reality may not be the reality.