LESSONS LEARNED FROM A CHARMING STAY IN STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN

Sometimes, you need to shut the fuck up.

The first thing I noticed upon stepping foot onto Swedish territory - other than the obvious: how tall, blonde and beautiful every one was - was the overwhelming, yet so endearing… silence. Please imagine me and my loud-mouthed Italian family, stumbling off of our red eye flight, already fighting over where we wanted to eat first or who snores the loudest or I-can’t-believe-you-forgot-to-pack-your-shoes-how-do-you-always-manage-to-forget-everything?!?

Despite the city being flooded with citizens, the five of us were easily the loudest in the room most places that we went.

I did quite a bit of people watching throughout my trip, as is my favourite thing to do whilst vacationing abroad, and I couldn’t help but notice that even those sitting outside eating with friends or walking side by side in the park would let quite a few minutes go by between them without saying anything at all. As a talkative, passionate person, I often feel the need to fill any silences with noise, hoping to avoid the perceived awkwardness of a lull in conversation. The Swedes taught me to prioritize meaningful words and simply being in each others company over endless chatter for pure noise sake.

Take a break, have a fika!

As someone who eats the majority of her meals in her 100-degree car either on her way to or from work, one of the sweetest things I always notice about Europeans in general is their lack of on-the-go dining. While portable meals between meetings are the norm for majority of us, most coffee shops in Sweden don’t even ask you if you would like your coffee and pastry ‘to-go’ - everything is automatically served in a mug or on a plate, because anytime you eat you should be sitting, taking advantage of the rare opportunity in your day to pause, and um... chew.

In Stockholm I ate majority of my meals outside, whether it be in the park at sunset or on one of the city’s countless curb side patios, and there is something so sweet about not rushing through a restaurant that is so loud you can’t even taste your food. Dining this way allowed me to eat slower, more mindfully, and actually savour these new foods that I was so lucky to be able to try.

If you can walk there, you should walk there.

I don’t think people talk enough about how incredibly ableist the process of travelling is. From spending days in a row stumbling through the cobblestones of Europe or simply lifting and lugging your luggage through the depths of hell - I mean Pearson Airport - you simply cannot travel comfortably or easily unless you are of peak physical condition. In Sweden, walking, cycling, and riding the ridiculously clean Metro are some of the easiest and cheapest ways that the locals get around. Sweden is big on sustainability (I never knew tap water could taste so delicious), and the country consistently ranks among the greenest and most environmentally conscious in the world (usnews.com)! Each staircase had a built in bike rack so that cyclists could walk their bike down comfortably alongside them, and on the sparkling streets there wasn’t a greasy McMuffin wrapper or a single cigarette butt to be found.

It’s worth mentioning as well that Stockholm is probably the first big city where I, a young and easily gullible woman, felt completely safe wandering the streets alone at all hours of the day. From the waiters in the restaurants to the countless locals I stopped on the street to help me with directions, each person was just as respectful as the next, always maintaining eye contact and always respecting my personal space. A brief glance at todays media headlines tell you that acts of simple kindness and decency are few and far between in North America, so it was nice to see that there are still people in this world who really value and practice plain human equality and general respect towards all beings.

Work smarter, not harder

Similar to how the Swedes are limited in their conversation, they also are limited in the amount of shackles and chains that tie them to their work. We visited Sweden in July, and we discovered quickly upon arriving that most small businesses and restaurants were closed due to the Swedes taking a month or so off to vacation. Those that were up and running had limited operating hours (usually between 10-6), and they operated with no Hell’s Kitchen sense of urgency. While at first my mom and I were frustrated at not being able to get our morning caffeine fix the second that we woke up, we soon realized how nice it was that the service workers all seemed calm, relaxed, and more focused on making each customer feel seen and heard, as opposed to pumping out as many half-assed sales in as little time as possible.

“Lagom in the Swedish language literally means not too much,

not too little, the right amount, and is a philosophy that aims to

balance, in every area and juncture of everyday life. Lagom is the

secret that explains a lifestyle based on social awareness,

moderation and sustainability.” (technogym.com)

Due to the lack of emphasis that Europeans tend to place on accumulating public displays of wealth, there really is no need to work more than you sleep if you are able to get by with only the necessities in your life.

The hustle and grind culture we are used to in North America seems to be replaced by the priority of a work-life balance in Sweden, supporting the notion that “a workforce that is both rested and content is inherently more efficient.” (https://swedifier.com/work/sweden-working-hours/)

Less is more, beauty wise

As someone who can’t travel anywhere new without taking detailed mental notes of the current beauty and fashion temperatures, I was surprised to see how the citizens of Stockholm all seemed to present themselves. Whether it was women in their 20s strolling through Gamla Stan or 70 year old men biking to a morning meeting, the Swedes kept their looks very natural, no-frills, and dare I say simple! Most people seemed to sport loose, light linen garments, usually tied together with a sleek white tennis shoe (because some people value comfort). Long gone were the eyes glued together with Ardell falsies and the nails longer than a pigeons beak, most locals barely wore jewellery or expensive flashy shoes, their just-enough style the perfect compliment to the city’s laidback vibe.

As for makeup - if people had on any at all - it was usually what a young sales clerk described to me is the Scandinavian look: just a youthful, ‘sun kissed’ blush and dewy highlight application, meant to emulate the long hours of sun that the Swedes desperately try to soak up throughout July.

Overall, the most valuable thing that I took home with me from a trip to this charming city, as well as what I usually take with me when leaving my hometown in general, is the notion that there are indeed so many different ways to live. It’s easy to go through the motions of our typical day-to-days, never giving ourselves the opportunity to switch gears here and there, never even acknowledging that it is an option to!

If there is one treat I may leave with you, sweet reader, as a Swedish souvenir, let it be that in some ways, you do indeed have the ability to change the way that you live. While I can’t promise you will find the same fresh strawberries and salty fish that flood the Scandinavian markets or be able to spend your walks home from work perusing through ancient museums, you can spend five minutes a day looking outside while sipping your coffee instead of at your phone. You can offer to go on a walk with a friend instead of screaming through a crowded bar, and you can choose to put aside that last pay cheque towards a future excursion instead of throwing it at Apple’s newest whatever-the-fuck. At least, that’s what I plan to do.

And yes, the meatballs are overrated.

J