Hey... are you Gay?!

So. It seems to me that the trend within the past decade or so might just be that everyone and their mothers like to know exactly what everyone and THEIR mothers are doing at all times.

Thanks to the wonderfully terrifying invention of social media, we can keep track of where people are, who they are with, what they are eating, what they are doing, etc etc etc at all

times of the day.

Everyone is so focused on creating an identity for strangers to judge them off of. And a huge part of your public identity gets constructed off of your sexuality.

If you’re gay, you get filed under the category of tight swim shorts and Queer Eye fandoms. If you’re straight, you had an overly privileged childhood and voted for Trump, and if you’re bisexual, you must just really like having sex.

Wait.. huh?

Fall into any of those categories? You very well might, but chances are you don’t.

You might even… wait for it…. Not know who or what the hell you are anyway!

Well, here comes my reasoning for making this post.

Humans aren’t packaged food products. We don’t need labelling. You know why? Because with life comes change, growth, experiences, and thoughts that change us from day to day.

Some days I want to travel to Italy because I want to be surrounded by copious amounts of pasta and romantic artwork, and some days I want to fly to Florida to lay on the beach and listen to ‘Apple Chill’ playlists until I am swept into the ocean.

So, what am I to do if I’ve always been physically attracted to boys, (even though sometimes they’re mean and make me cry), but one day I meet a girl that has funny jokes and pretty eyes and listens to the same music as I do? Does that mean I’m not allowed to have feelings for her, because I’ve always been with boys and everyone knows that? Do I have to alert everyone of this and submit a 24 page public report on my new identity?

Yeah, right.

I’m not going to place a label on my sexuality, or identify myself as one thing or another when I meet people, because to be quite frank, I don’t fucking owe anyone that explanation. I don’t make a list of qualities I want and don’t want in a partner, because I have absolutely no clue!

A relationship shouldn’t be built from a foundation of rules and limitations, such as I will only marry a boy who is 6 inches taller than me and plays basketball and has rich ancestors; it should be formed naturally, based on factors like connection, the ability to give and receive happiness, and umm…. love!!!!

Just like how humans aren’t just white or black, neither is sexuality. I choose not to only eat chocolate ice cream because somedays I might feel like vanilla. Or not to only love dogs because cats are wonderful too. And just because in 2008 I wore a denim skirt over jeans doesn’t mean I still would do that today (even though honestly, it looked pretty good).

Much like the weather, we change everyday, and we can’t always predict what is going to happen tomorrow or what paths we are going to stumble across, or who we’re going to fall in love with.

Love should happen naturally, and randomly, and crazily, like (I believe) it’s supposed to.

As for my sexuality, I identify myself as a loving person. A person who has so much love in their heart that she can’t keep for herself and needs to spread it to as many people as she can as often as she can before she overflows.

Love who you want to love, when you want to love them, in any way you want to love them.

Love without rules, regulations, or fears.

For those of you that have your sexuality engraved in stone, all the power to you, but to those of you that don’t …. THAT IS OKAY! You don’t need to. You don’t have to hand it in on Wednesday at 8 AM like your history report.

Don’t waste time trying to figure yourself out, instead of actually figuring yourself out.

You can choose to keep your sexuality private, or run around naked on the streets singing Lizzo with your body painted in rainbow colours.

If you have any thoughts on this topic, agree with anything I said, or think I am an absolute idiot and made zero sense at all, let’s chat about it like normal humans in the comments below!

Thank you all for the read, and please help me out with some ideas of what to discuss next time!

Have the most beautiful magical day, and don’t forget to love,

Ciao,

J

"Love is love is love is love is love, cannot be killed or swept aside, now fill the world with music, love, and pride.” Lin-Manuel Miranda